obnoxiousness in a noxious world.

dating. it doesn't have to suck

2005-10-29T23:48:00.000-05:00

here I am. back by popular demand. w/ part 1 of an article I wrote on dating. and stuff.

To follow are some of my thoughts on the topics of dating, relationships and being attractive. I've come to these conclusions through my own observations and experience. It's not rocket science. It's not kismet. It's not divine intervention. It's simply making the most of your person. Being the best you can. Being considerate of others. And having a mature handle on life and a realistic approach to relationships.

DATING:

1. Friends are people that like each other but don’t have sex. Boy/girlfriends are people that like each other and have sex. (in general) If you realise that you aren’t sexually attracted to the other person – you should not be in a committed social relationship. Move on so you can both find someone you are attracted to.

2. Relationships come and go. You meet somebody, you share your time together, you might learn some new things. The majority of your relationships, for whatever reason, will come to a natural end. At which point you say thank you for the memories, I wish you well and you move on.

3. Relationships, in themselves, are not objects to be had. They are not possessions. People are not possessions. In my observations, too many people “want” a girlfriend. Want a husband. Want a child. Its almost like the individual doesn’t matter. They just want to be in relationship. That’s selfish. That’s the wrong thing to want. The better wish is to want a boyfriend that __fill in the blanks__ i.e. “I want a boyfriend that is mature and will treat me well.” Or “I want a girlfriend that is athletic and appreciates art history” see the difference. Instead of making a blanket selfish statement, you are being proactive in identifying what makes you happy, ergo – a person you might have a great connection with.

4. Realise that it takes two to be in a relationship. This topic could go on forever- but I’m going to zero in on one very important aspect. Do not be selfish. Consider the other person’s feelings. If you are wicked hot for a girl, but the girl just doesn’t have the same level of interest – accept it and move on!

A.) why would you want to be w/ someone who isn’t hot for you?

B.) Consider the other persons feelings. If you cared so much about this person to date / want to date them – then you should care enough about them to not want them to be unhappy.

Regardless of how much you think you love somebody, or how hot he is, or how cool he is, it would be absolutely miserable to be stuck to someone who doesn’t love you the same way. You can’t force it.

Very important:

Not everybody is for everybody else.

I didn't coin that phrase, one of my ex's (and still good friend) made it up. And it's so true. Some people just aren't compatible. tough luck. but it's the truth. Don't waste your time on someone if it's not working out.

I need to add that the flip side of this is also true. Don't lead people on. Don't string them along. Be honest. Guys - this is one of the reasons why women often say that men are assholes. Some of you guys have a tendency to lead women on and only loosly stay in the relationship. Whether its b/c you want to keep having sex, or you don't want to be alone. But please - don't be an ass. If you don't want to accept all the joys and obligations of being a boyfriend - don't keep your girl hanging on. Let her go so she can find someone that really cares.

ATTRACTION:

Whether you are friends, or boy/girlfriends – your relationship exists b/c you two share the following elements:

A.) Chemistry
B) Mental / Emotional Attraction
C.) Physical Attraction

The difference between friends and boy/girlfriends is that in a romantic relationship – those three qualities should be at the highest level. The level which screams “ I want to have sex w/ you.”

A.) Chemistry = you can’t do anything about that. Its there or it isn’t there. End of story.

B.) Mental / Emotional Attraction = This is where the individual personality comes into play. Passions, hobbies, jobs, interests – all those things are hot and potentially attractive. Writers, musicians, race car drivers, football players, plumbers, whatever you do or whatever your interest is – I gty somebody thinks its hot. Anything that makes you special and unique makes you hot. Being boring and lacking passion is not hot.

C.) Physcial Attraction = looks do matter!

Anyone who says “looks aren’t important” isn’t saying what he really means. He’s not finishing the sentence. What he really means is: “your god given features don’t matter, but what you do w/ them DOES matter.” He means: “ Be the best you can be, but don’t be fake” There are many aspects to being beautiful.

The top two aspects to being beautiful are:
A.) Being happy
B.) taking care of yourself.

You might have been born w/ features that are outside of what our culture considers conventionally beautiful. So what if you have a big nose, or a round figure, or small breasts. That doesn’t matter. But – you can’t NOT care about what you look like.

Caring about your outward appearance does not equal being shallow.

Overdoing it, however, is silly and looks silly. You don’t need to be overly trendy or only buy designer clothes, or get plastic surgery – that’s all being fake.

At a minimum – be well groomed. Shave, moisturize, comb your hair, wear clean clothes. A step above that is wearing flattering clothes, wearing makeup and styling your hair.

Makeup was invented b/c it serves a purpose! Use it the right way – to enhance. Use it to emphasize your best attributes, and downplay the unflattering aspects that would otherwise detract from the more beautiful ones. This isn’t rocket science. Highlighter and mascara to bring out your eyes and concealer to coverup zits and dark circles. Do it.

The right hairstyle can bring attention to your face, eyes, and body shape. Beyond that – hair is an eye catcher.

This isn’t being shallow. We like to look at stuff that we find pleasing. We like to look at nature. We like to look at art. We HAVE to look at our girl/boyfriends, so of course we naturally want to LIKE what they look like.

Presentation is important. Take food for example. Why else do gourmet restaurants put so much emphasis on the plating and presentation of food? Something could taste really good and be good for you, but if it looks and/or smells like crap - its not going to be very appetising.

I can't speak for the gay community, but in my experience in general, men want to date women that look like women, and women want to date men that look like men. Guys want to date a girl in a pretty package that looks appealing. Dress in clothes that look good on you and say "hey I'm a sexy person - have sex w/ me" And for heavens sake - go to bed in a flirty nighty or something cute. Not an oversized t-shirt and boxer shorts. In my experience, men do not appreciate a woman who looks frumpy. Its worth the effort. trust me.

THE SECRET TO BEING A SEXY DATE-ABLE PERSON:

Guys - master the art of being an M&M. Hard candy shell outside, sweet candy melt in your mouth inside. Thats what women want. A man who has confidence and a strong character, and who also has a sensitive, compassionate inside.

Ladies - master the art of being the opposite. A soft pretty feminine package outside. and the inside is strong, with a little hard edge that says "I'm cool, I'm not a whiny annoying bitchy girl."

So very basically:

Be happy w/ who you are. Make the most of your best featuares and feel good about it. Take care of yourself. Be an individual. Be passionate about something. Have a positive attitude, be attentive and supportive of others. Be caring. Have fun. Smile.

and lastly - do it better than the average person out there.

That’s what makes you attractive.

That's what makes people want to date you.

where have I been, what have I been doing?

2005-02-19T18:01:00.000-05:00

So I've been pretty out of touch lately. I've missed birthdays. I've missed rehearsals. And, I've even missed American Idol a lot. That's bad.

I've basically been at work for 12 hours a day for the past few months.

But I've managed to do a few fun things. For your viewing pleasure, Dave and I have put together a pictoral recap of the past three months.

The one big event that we have no pictures of is our trip to the Wine and food Festival at Mohegan Sun in January. The whole MR crew went. Our group got dressed up, won money, lost money, stole one of the celebrity chef's jackets, then of course there was the wine....and most importantly I got to meet Todd English! a sweaty hand shake, a deep look into his eyes, and we clinked wine glasses and I am still one happy gal.

You know we were buried under several blizzards, and Pres Bush declared an emergency. See now everyone complains about the cold and the snow, but honestly, I'd rather be buried under a blizzard then live w/ hurricanes and wildfires (the south) or earthquakes and mudslides (cali)

We won the superbowl. as if there was any doubt.

The biggest news on the homefront are the renovations at the Terrace and at the studio. So, click away....

http://www.daveshrewsbury.com/blogpics/index.html

another season of 'reality' tv (?)

2005-01-09T22:30:00.000-05:00

Did we all have a good holiday?

I survived a very busy concert season. Lots of great gigs. More impressively, I survived some very fabulous social events. Very fabulous! I'll spare the details, but they involved: Boston hotspots, media execs, and a 'Party Bus.'

Christmas in Connecticut rivaled the one spent by the Griswolds (as always, my family is the best!) followed by breakfast w/ a special someone before being whisked away to a very cold but wonderful week in Orlando. An awesome vacation! I got used to that lifestyle. Then I got dumped by Harry Potter and yada yada yada it's 2005, hooray!

Thank heavens it's finally January!
For two, long, painful seasons I existed on re-runs: Sex and the Cities, 24s, Sopranos, Angels, L Words, even the much revered Twin Peaks. The lack of new broadcasting was nearly killing me.

but now, now I think (I hope!) we're in for some good watching! Two more weeks until Simon. Just a few months left of NYPD Blue but tonight began (oooooh aaaaaah) 24. I don't want to hear any complaining. Yes the cast turned over and we liked the old president better (yeah, when else have you heard That before?) and yes, the action is a bit more over the top. So what?! Bring it on. And I have to add that, I especially relished tonight's episode, b/c, I recently scored a spot in a professional womans' chorale. Rehearsals begin tomorrow! However, an unfortunate side effect is that I will never, ever be able to watch 24 in its EST time slot! Tivo could become my new best friend. But, as it stands now, we don't have Tivo. not cool enough. Although, we are capable of recording the shows to dvd...muuuahaha.

Funny how conditioned we humans become to stimuli.
Watching 24 tonight was like a Pavlov experiment. After three seasons of a virtually sexual relationship w/ 24 in high definition, Dave went through a hell of a lot of trouble to put that oh-so-recognisable CTU ring on our cell phones. The first few months we got a tiny adrendaline rush every time our phones rang. Tonight, we kept checking our pockets every 2 mins. Doot Doot DOO dooooooooo. hahaha.

Right now, I'm having a very Carrie-like blog moment as I contemplate the profound and complex paralells between tv and our lives.

The basic evolution of any creative processess seems to begin w/ function. (i.e. news broadcasts) followed by parody (the realisation of the ability to mirror life) then we reach the apex of dramatic development and achievement (complete fiction) afterwhich there's no where else to go but full circle, and we degenerate into the realm of....reality television.

What happened?? My guess is a genius documentary producer married a coked-out B-movie writer and their slut of a daughter couldn't find any other way to pay for the college degree she earned on the internet.

and when is reality tv ever real anyway?
They have freudian trained casting agents and,Hello!, staff writers for chrissakes. How many people do you know that go around remodeling a kitchen in a half hour, or drink beetle and rat brains milkshakes, or have sex with ALL of their housemates? And don't we all dream of the day we race to a remote island to run obstacle courses? and puh-lease! there is not a SHRED of anything 'unscripted' in The Simple Life.

I'm not trying to say that fictional tv isn't more 'real' than the so called reality genre, but, well, it is sorta. I have more friends that act like bonafide Trekkies, or Simpsons, or Seinfelds than those that act like 'apprentices.'

(Shut up. Shut up! Whatever you're thinking - - leave Idol out of this discussion. It is THE exception and I won't have you talking about my future husband like that!)

Could it be that we mirror ourseves after tv and Not vice versa?

We created tv characters as whatever we imagined ourselves to be - over glorified, perfectly lit, sexually fulfilled, occasionaly out of this world, super heroes. Beefed up extentions of oursleves. And now, we expect to become the very caricatures of ourselves that we created.

It's a case of life imitating art, not the other way around.

I know I'm not alone when I say that certain shows (all classified as "fictional" except for American Idol) empower me. Make me feel 'connected' to the world, comfort me, give me confidence, make me feel sexy, teach me all sorts of things. Beyond pure entertainment. An offset to the (often much needed) escapism aspects of amusement.

I know I'm not alone b/c sadly, many people take it too far. Immaturity re-enacting violence, couples expecting perfect relationships. There's a fine line between entertainment and disillusionment. But, that's not a reason to enact over zealous censorship.

I'm segueing into potentionally rocky territory so I'm going to wrap it up now. Perhaps someday I'll write a sequal. In summary, I'm not going to really tie up the loose ends of this post, except the say that I'm grateful for television and film - and for the limitless extensions of life, both of the real reality, and the digital reality variety.

things I learned while on my knees....

2004-12-15T22:34:00.000-05:00

a few months have gone by...and people have been bugging me to blog. So guess what I'm going to blog about. that's right - cleaning my house. cleaning house. cleaning.

there's been much talk lately amongst my friends - particularly in the area of 'the need for cleansing.' is it b/c a new year is approaching and we're ready to start afresh? do the holidays make us long for happier and simpler (cleanlier) days?

yes and yes as far as I'm concerned. Plus, my dad is coming up on fri and staying over. and as usual, my house is pretty grody.

Dave - did you know our bathtub is white?
We have a bathroom, w/ a bathtub (and a shower, this isn't the 1800s) That's Dave's bathroom and I'm hardly ever in that bathtub b/c I have a full bathroom (shower stall only) in my bedroom suite.

I haven't cleaned that bathtub in, oh, I can't remember how long. and I don't usually clean w/ harsh chemicals. I prefer the non-lethal-won't-give-you-soilentgreencancer-'natural' cleansers (i.e. Dr. Bronner's) but tonight, I had to break out the bleach. and I used a whole bottle scubbing the crap out of the bathroom.

as I was giving myself carpul tunnel syndrome, I was thinking...

I know at least 3 people who are currently in committed relationships that they are unsure of. two of these people are downright unhappy, but are really struggling. "should I break it off? I don't want to hurt their feelings? It's really not that bad" Please!

One of these people is The Not. last week, I sat there patiently listening to the same old story - how stressed out he is over this 'situation'. The Not's girlfriend is semi-long distance and has kids. Kids and Mum are rather attached to The Not, who is desperately trying to cling to his independance. Mum wants to marry The Not. The Not does not even want to move in w/ her. Yet he continues to see her every weekend. and he continues to deal w/ her "separation anxiety" and a host of other very difficult issues.

To most of us, this situation is a no brainer. He knows that:
1. She feels much stronger for him, then he does for her.
2. He's not even ready to move in w/ her
3. She has issues. (yes don't we all, but ...well more on that in a minute)

He's not sure what he should do...

why doesn't he leave? cut his losses. "Thanks for the memories. Better luck next time. Not everybody is for everybody else. Sorry that you couldn't realise that relationships are like jello - the tighter you try to squeeze it, the more it just slips through your fingers." <> there are dozens of ways to leave your lover. ask me for some more lines - I have tons.

At first, I was reluctant to give my opinion b/c, well, it wasn't very nice. but I eventually couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Issues" will not magically go away. And The Not getting closer to the Mum is not going to fix her issues. She has to make the decision to heal herself. If you have inner self-related problems - No one, no thing can fix them. Other people or things or events may inspire you to want to become strong and whole, but in the end You have to make the committment to yourself to research and resolve.

Secondly, he's frustrated b/c he does cares very deeply. I think a very humane side of him wants to take care of the scarred Mum and her kids. But he is becoming very tired from juggling a stressful job and a difficult relationship, and having no personal time for himself.

self immersion.

I was feeling particularly philisophical (is that spelled right, I have no idea) and I said: come to your senses. You have to take care of yourself first. You cannot take care of someone else unless you are strong enough. Its like what the airlines teach you - in case of emergency and loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from the ceiling. Place the mask on yourself first. Then place the mask on your kids, neighbour who needs assitance, etc. Furthermore - if everybody took care of him/herself first, then we wouldn't have to worry as much about each other. We might actually be able to live happily. exist is solid, meaningful relationships.

He's not sure that he's ready to be the one to break it off. I say " let the cards fall where they may" things that don't work usually have a funny way of working themselves out.

and something else occured to me

Now, even though our bathtub appeared to be white - - as I started scrubbing and scouring, as I bleached through crusty stains, as I poured boiling water over layers of gook = I saw how really gleaming white the porcelain actually is. The dirt was so gunked on, that you almost couldn't even tell it was dirty,b/c, it was all dirty.

Sometimes, you don't realise how bad the situation is until you begin to fix it. Then you see how nice it can be.

But now...now you notice that it is really clean. It looks clean, it smells clean, and it just feels clean. The clean surface actually reflects the light - making the porclain sparkle.

Sure, before, I had a bathtub. Even though it was disgusting, it was still usuable. But now that it is clean, I can't believe how bad it was. I can't believe that Dave continued to shower in it and didn't fear contracting ebola. And I really hope that we don't ever let it get that nasty again. Not only did it look crappy, it was unhealthy!

so friends, I offer this to you for your consideration -

How clean is your bathtub?

a universal truth

2004-10-10T08:30:00.000-05:00

the universe has many knowns and many truths. instinct which governs our daily lives. involuntary reflexes keeping us alive. and natural laws that keep our feet on the ground. we as humans are helpless. we can't argue, we can't negotiate. we must simply accept.

One of these known truths is that:
"Not more than 2 rooms in my house may be clean at any given time."

I just don't understand it.

Just 2 weeks ago our house was immaculate. radiant. dustless, spotless, hairless, smellless, messless. And in just days. DAYS....it all went to shit. We've done a decent enough job of keeping our bedrooms clean. the bathrooms are not yet to the point where you want to wear flip flops into the shower. and the living room is still semi-inhabitable....

But don't, and I mean, don't even imagine setting foot in the kitchen. Or the dining room (well, thats not really a loss, we're never in the dining room anyway) Or the guest suite (the pets have taken over, its nast) and ack! our studio is disgusting! one literally cannot set foot in it. Books and papers strewn about. Memorabilia dangled from its once careful mounting. the dust bunnies attacked you. they clung to your feet and should you kick them up, you chance inhaling their choking filth. they're hungry. hungry for more...dust.

Yesterday I had had it. I engaged "lunatic mode." Armed w/ dual bottles of windex holstered at my hips. Arm bands made of paper towels. A garbage bag the size of Rhode Island. And Led Zeppelin turned up to 11 to quell the screams of the dust bunnies as they were sucked into the darkened abyss of my vacuum.

This morning I'm sitting at my desk again! using my desktop pc. (as opposed to sitting on the couch w/ the laptop) If I wanted to, I can use my desk phone! I can place objects such as a coffee cup on my desk and not worry that a parasitic worm will leap into it. I can play my choice of keyboard or guitar while sitting in any number of chairs. And most gloriously, I can walk from the door to the back of the room, w/out having to pole vault over a pile of crap.

So, one more room is clean. And by cleaning it, I made the kitchen *this much messier* By the time the kitchen is clean again, I'm sure the living room will be trashed beyond recognition.

such is life.

in memory of...

2004-10-09T01:08:00.000-05:00

Thank you to all who offered advice, support and sympathy for my poor poor hard drive.

Mr D: lived a good, long life. He was a faithful companion. Even though, I may have neglected to keep him sufficiently defragged, and relegated him to a constant state of haphazard organisation, Mr D: served me w/ steadfast eagerness. He was always there. and I never imagined there would be a day w/out him.

Mr D: was born a Maxtor 40GB. Small by today's standards. but seven years ago it was all I needed to supplement the rest of my computer family. He was stationed alongside Ms C: and became a surrogate father to her son, Mstr E: They lived in a house that Dell built, but thanks to my tech savvy friends, soon became a hip melange of the latest and greatest.

In my college years, Mr D: received his mission in life. While Ms. C: maintained the household's operations, and Mstr E: was the keeper of documents, artwork and other files. Mr D: was the working man in the family. He ran my music editing program - Cool Edit Pro, Photoshop 5, and most important to my sanity - my RPG games. Oh how many a happy eve' was spent annhilating my dormmates over a friendly battle of Q2, UT, R6 and many more. But most recently....

Mr D: was reassigned. What started as a hobby for me quickly became my life's work, my passion. My college years coincided w/ the era of P2P sharing. connected to the world's network. And I began a research and archival project that has consumed me for 4 years and counting. I hit a goldmine earlier this year. and Mr D: was w/ me the whole way.

*****
A few months ago, I noticed that my computer was making a funny sound. One of the hard drives was making a funny cluck-a-cluck-a sound when spinning. Probably not good, but unfortunately I didn't pay much attention. "I better check that out." (I would say to myself) Then in September, I sat down one day to work on my project....

and there was nothing there.

nothing. the little flashlight searched and searched but there was nothing. just a void, a big black hole in My Computer where Mr D: used to be. Mr D: what happened? Did you get sick? was it a stroke? what did I do? years and years of work. it was all gone.

I was smart enough to back up *some* of my project. By some I mean, about 25% - 45%. the rest - I fear I may never be able have again.

***Okay okay don't panic yet***

Dave gets excited over emergencies. He likes to be the level headed point man. and thankfully he stepped right in and got on message boards, trying to find a fix. Meanwhile I'm cowering in a corner, crying and rubbing my hands together, rocking back and forth muttering "all gone, all gone...."

Dave tried everything, even putting Mr D: in the freezer for a few hours. didn't work. no time was wasted. we checked the presumed dead Mr D: into a data recovery shop.

The inital prognosis was unclear. Unfort, there was some damage that would have to be repaired before the shop could even make a diagnosis. If the platter was damaged, it would be a total loss...

and they quoted me at $600 - $2,800 holy effin crap!! Can I put on price on memories? What is the value of 4 years of tireless labour?.... in the end it didn't matter b/c.. (the following is an excerpt from an email from the shop)

"The drive would not allow access due to the maintenance track (servo)being corrupted/blown. The technician then had to begin the time tedious process of writing software and attempting to repair this issue. Unfortunately, none of their efforts yielded positive results. Replacement of the faulty mechanics/electronics and repairs to the maintenance proved ineffective inresolving the problem. The work has been discontinued on this drive and the job has been classified as unrecoverable. "

I got the news at work on Wednesday. I started to cry. The cold, sterile email made me feel worse. Have you no regard for my feelings, man?!

On friday, I rec'd Mr D: back. He was airmailed to me in a cardboard box. The same box which will serve as his coffin, his final resting place forever more. A memorial service is being planned.

*****
I'm about to purchase a new hard drive. I have to move on. There is much work to be done and years and years of work to re-do. I'm planning on picking up a high capacity drive, and a firewire hard drive to back everything up!

Let this be a lesson to all - back up your files! People, and hard drives will inevitably come and go. They are but the shell that returns to dust. But it is the good times we share, the smiles, the laughs, the trials and tribulations. That is the stuff which is life, which is love.

Febtober.

2004-10-04T00:04:00.000-05:00

my social life is manic-depressive.

I'll go for weeks where I am never home. Each night a different bar, a different group of friends, drunken overnight jams, rehearsals, shopping sprees. I'll actually call people. emails. IMs.

Then for days, weeks it seems - I'll be asleep every night at 9p. I don't leave my house. I don't want to be dressed. And I certainly don't want to answer the phone.

and occasionally, my blog entries sound like they are written by Christopher Walken

So folks, I'm sorry that I fall into random hibernation periods. My only possible explanation which is not a very good one - is that, I am not capable of multi-tasking.

Once something consumes me - it's all I am capable of focusing on. Historically, consumables have included: a.) certain people 2.) a hobby, such as my 'top secret archival music project' D.) cleaning my house and 5.) absolute no other human involved personal time.

Sometimes it is hard to believe, but I am quite introverted. and neurotic. For anyone who's heard of the Meyers Briggs Jung Keirsey whatever the hell its called these days test - I've been testing as an INFP for years. (Actually, in high school I was INTP. I've actually managed to spawn some emotions as I've grown older.)

Just took the test again the other day when I was home sick. I came up a solid I N and P and 50% F / 50% T So the test confirms my suspicions that I'm only thinking half of the time.

So back to my orig sililoquoy.

What I'm trying to say - is that, I take an extra long time to de-compress. I figure that I require approx. 1 day of seclusion for every 6 hours of time spent socialising. So, 2 nights of bar hopping per week = a full 24 hr period of alone time (not necessarily consecutive hours) needed.

September was Birthday Month. and it was fun! I went out w/ the gals, I drank heavily, I shopped, I went on a road trip. CT boyfriend came here. Sang my last mass at St. Joe's (but thats sad and I'm trying not to think about it) and then Whew! was I tired. The last week was spent in utter isolation. And it was wonderful. Sunday I laid in bed all day and read a book cover to cover. (actually re-read, its a great book that I forgot about) "Like a hole in the head" by Jen Banbury. Thanks, Mic.

and now we've launched into October. My second favourite month of the year! and I PROMISE that I will call. I PROMISE that I'll go out. I have a lot of friends to catch up w/. That is my October Priority. Trust that I have not forgotten about all a youse. and thank you so much for your unending patience and understanding.

However - the big news is that there are a few new projects (consumables) in the works. One involves the starry world of all things Stoney. and the second involves getting my act together. literally. Stay tuned.

shag, baby yeah....

2004-08-29T14:59:00.000-05:00

I don't know what possessed me last week.

I was at tar-jhay last week doing some pokey shopping. not really looking for anything in particular. Thought I'd pick me up some armor all or suitable equivilent. then I saw....

Hello Kitty seat covers! wowee. now, I'm not much into iconography. I'm not a freakish collector of any copyrighted ink and paint idols, nor do I enjoy being a walking billboard for any over priced mass produced sweatshop paraphanlia. But, admit it. Hello Kitty is cute. Gosh darn cute. And she's re-spawned along w/ her fellow Sanrio characters. Champions for a new generation of tortured children - shelved alongside spike collars and psuedo "goth" regalia at Hot Topic. I remember the Kitty's first incarnation circa 1983: The era of fruit scented plastic ponies, before the Care Bears morphed into candy ravers. Now Strawberry Shortcake is a has-been crackwhore milf desperate to get into Spongebob's square pants.

but anyways, Hello Kitty is still cute. and underneath my icy cloak of indifference I'm still a girly girl. And the PT Cruiser is a girly car, so.....

I couldn't resist.

Royal blue velour driver and passenger seat covers w/ subtle hot pink, lilac and silver accents, and the unmistakable winking kitty head. They serve a purpose. The eco-centric politically correct designers of the PT Cruiser built the dang thing w/out an ash tray. Or a ciggy lighter for that matter. So the front seats are populated w/ several hardly noticible yet unsightly ciggarrette burns. The unfortunate smoker has no choice but to ash out the window. And the 75 mph airflow delights in slapping the cinders right back at ya.

After the seat covers jumped into my trolley, I had to pick up some coordinating items. I spend lots of time sleeping in my car or other random places. So I need to tote around a pillow and blanket. Although my red plaid blanky is soft and comfy, it would clash w/ the kitty seats like 2 marching band cymbals. A few aisles down I found a perfectly yummy reversible pink and lilac fleece blanket, and a pair of purple chenille throw pillows. Then I passed the bath aisle and I saw:

Hot pink shag bath mats!! Holy crap. I need to effin cover my cruiser in hot pink shag. How disgusting would that be?! It took a bit of planning to figure out what would be the easiest and most effective way to re-upholster my car in bath mats. I'll spare you the gorey details. Basically, I measured them out, cut them up and sewed in elastic so they slip over my existing car mats.

The end result is a car that Barbie would be damn jealous of. And I topped it off by dangling from the rear view mirror an air freshner in the shape of a small blue hummingbird. (as if there weren't enough sexual over/undertones in my car already)

I love it! warm and comfy. a shocking jolt of colour to wake me up every morning. and my new bath/car mats are machine washable! the only down side - - - - - they're not flame resistant. As in - they're flammable. So, no smoking in my car while lying on the floor. And hopefully no accidents will produce a spark strong enough to ignite the rubber backing. Sound like too big of a risk? well shit, people entertained for decades in their parlours, smoking like chimneys around fiberglass curtains, w/ beehives lacquered in Aquanet and 20 electrical cords mercilessly plugged into one wall outlet.

the call of the shag is too great.

I'll try to post some pics soon.

"every actor has been on Law and Order but me"

2004-08-21T09:56:00.000-05:00

anyone remember who said that? it's funny.

And now it's time for:

POINTLESS REVIEWS OF MOVIES THE REST OF THE WORLD SAW 2 YEARS AGO.

2 months have passed since I watched a movie. (it's true, I hate movies. attention span = this big) Scaned through the On Demand selections and decided that sufficient time has passed since Mystic River was released. I was still working for the union when the film was in post. So, I guess I had this bad taste in my mouth and didn't really want to see it. But what the hell. It was a dark an rainy day. Good time for a whodunit.

Mystic River. kind of left me w/ a 'humph' feeling. it was mildly exciting seeing local talent and points of interest. But most of the accents were completely wrong, and whats worse - the lexicon was way off. Not once did you hear "bang a left at Kelly's" or, "hey go use yer Viser cahd to get me and Brender a keggah. That'll be pissah." And the real reason that did not make the Boston setting believable - not once, not ever was the word "wicked" used.

Anyways. Sean Penn. phew. incredible. Clint, buddy, good job. and you wrote the music too. impressive. all aspects of the film are very well done. As soon as they got a hit on the gun, I had figured out who did it and why (and subsequently who else was going to get whacked) but they played it out well and I'm still shaking. The lengthy running time wasn't too hard to manage b/c even though the action was slow, there were enough choppy scene changes to hold my interest.

didn't like the ending though. It made me so depressed. Basically, from what I gathered, the point of the movie is thus: "Life sucks. For some people, life really really sucks. And then you die."

anyone read the book?

Too much morbidity today. I need something lite and fluffy. Enter "The Muppets Take Manhattan." aaaaaaah.

ON EDGE!

2004-08-11T17:46:00.000-05:00

I'm about to give my cat a hysterectomy w/ a spoon.

I'm a bad cat parent - I admit it. Poor Scuba Steve. She's "my" first cat, and I haven't been able to gather my courage together to bring her to the vet to be spayed. Yes, yes, I know that supposedly it's healthier for her to be spayed. But, I couldn't bear the thought of my kitty being cut up and cut out and sewed up. So barbaric!! or so I thought. until now.

So, she's been going into heat for awhile now and we've dealt w/ it by locking her in the studio, praying to all things holy that the Aurelex will dampen the ceaseless crying. This week - I just can't handle it. It's driving me up a fricken wall.

And the downstairs neighbours are moving out. Hmmmmm, wonder why.

Let's also talk about how much I HATE CLEANING. That's right. We're STILL cleaning the kitchen. yeah, since June.

and I'm all of out of ciggys.

Not sure why I'm so tense. I've had wicked insomnia. The cat is irritating me. And I'm a wee bit stressed about this weekend. But other than THAT, life is good. job is fine. I'm not in collections w/ anybody. Got me a car that goes vroom vroom. So why am I so spikey?!

POLL: What should I do to de-stress?!?

you crazy kids with yer hoola hoops and yer rocky roll music

2004-07-21T22:01:00.000-05:00

ha! hor(ney)mones.

Let's talk about the summertime.

Is it me? or does it Not really feel like summer? Sure we had like, one hot week in June. Since then, it's been kind rainey muggy uckey. You know - that cool warm. It's so damp that the your skin feels cool, but the air is really quite warm. and stifling.

Talked to the Sax Ace earlier re: the necessary pilgramage away from one's house during the summertime. He's gone on a few vacas. A nice holiday in Italy. a few golf excursions. I think Beth has gone to the beach a bunch. And Bruce Almighty is visiting the Alpaca farm this weekend. Pretty sure Ekalb considers any time away from work a vacation.

Dave - have we done anything this summer? Have we gone anywhere or otherwise partook in any fun and exciting obligatory summer trips?

I don't think we have...

It's passing us by.

Poll: If I was to go on vacation within the next month - where should I go and what should I do? Bear in mind that I have no money, I don't want to get tan and I hate the beach.

Toot toot!

2004-07-17T11:34:00.000-05:00

It's the Chrissy Cruiser!

After 7 arduous days, the silver PT Cruiser is mine. Picked it up in CT on Thurs. This is the first car I've owned that cost more than $500. Even though it's a 2001, this car is the first major item I've owned that was made in this century! (and it's styled after retro designs, go fig)

Have to thank my dad for picking it out. I wouldn't have given this car a second thought - I was looking at a Jeep. But my dad thought that this car was more my style. He was right - I LOVE IT!

Trés Vintageous
Aside from the alarm system and the remote starter that my dad put in for me - this car is completely stock. But that will soon change... I think I need to start w/ some smaller, more affordable accessories. I'm looking at replacing some of the interior pieces w/ chrome. I'm also thinking about adding some exterior moldings - a beltline and such. Def new wheels, not sure about a spoiler. But, I was most excited to discover that I can get running boards, as well as a OEM continental-type faux spare tire for the boot! Opinions? Suggestions?

No, Kenny, I'm not going to add blue LED tubes!

Click on the thumb for a bigger pic of The CC

"It looks so nice parked in the driveway..."

when it rains, it pours....

2004-07-13T00:34:00.000-05:00

Ding Ding! A month has gone by... time to post again.

The past 30 (or so) days have been some of the most eventful of my entire life. Up down, up down, (in many many places) I shall summarise:

DOWN
As you can glean from earlier posts: I lost my job w/ the advert/production company. Half of my shows got cxld, the other half are being written in house. But now I'm pleased as punch! I really hated that job anyway. But I put up w/ it b/c the $$$$ rocked, I got to wear pj's all day long and the perks made me feel like a celeb. But, it couldn't make up for the fact that I absolutely dreaded the work.

UP
After two short weeks and heaps of melodrama, I landed a job in the accounting dept of a manufacturing company. Fate is funny - the company headquarters is in Quebec. I was never very good at speaking French, even though I grew up speaking a bit of it. (Ask me sometime, also the reason why I wanted to be a nun) I like the job and I adore my co-workers. It's kind of fun dusting off my language skills, On any given day, I get to speak to people in Spanish and Portuguese. I fake my way through French and I have to "translate" all kinds of languages from Polish to Swedish. Haven't had a change to use my (feeble) Japanese yet though. Yes, you heard me right - it's an accounting position.

DOWN DOWN UP
Speaking of French - The weekend of the 4th came. Fireworks. yup. those things. For the most part, I have a lousy memory. I'm not good at remembering dates, but I always remember good ole independence Day. (also Cinco De Mayo) Last year, the 4th became an even sadder day of remembrance. I spent the night in the animal hospital w/ Happy. And I never brought him home again. I had to let him go to Bunny Heaven on the 6th. So, I was feeling negative festive this year. Dave stayed home w/ me and we watched movies and boozed it up. After watching The Commitments for the 1 quadrillionth time, we got all inspired to spend the overnight in the studio. Check out his website for the recording we made of J'rai La Voir Un Jour. It was so cathartic.

DOWN
Car started dying last week. Poor little thing. First, it started running and shifting real rough like. Checked the fluids. Needed oil and coolant. Thought maybe I got some bad petrol. But then, over the next few days, it got worse. Yada yada yada, I think I need a new transmission and I don't want to put that kind of money into the Celeb. Decided that I just had to suck it up and buy a car.....

UP!
On Saturday, Daddy helped me look for a new ride. As usual, I made the decision pretty impulsively. The deal is clinched, but not finalised yet. Wanna know what I'm buying? Stay tuned...!

UP AND DOWN
Seriously - my head is spinning. It IS possible to have too much of a good thing, and I don't know how I'm going to handle it any longer. If life is like a box of chocolates, then I say: love is like a bag of Lays....I can't have 'just one.' (BTW, what pervo came up w/ that slogan? Brill!)

Solution: Need more shopping time to clear my head.

Cryin Crazy Amazacrazy

2004-06-13T22:31:00.000-05:00

'wonderful.' The word has almost completely lost its meaning. We sort of use it as a synonym for 'good' or 'great.' In the tv shows, I would throw it in the script when a house didn't warrant a more special description such as 'majestic' or 'stately.'

I just watched Big Fish. Friends, this is what a movie should be. Many words and images are swirling through my mind - but the one that stands out is 'wonderful.'

What sounds so ordinary and mundane is really a quite thought provoking word. Shall we examine its meaning. Logically if something is wonderful (such as Big Fish) it is full of wonder. Good ole Merriam Webster online informs us that wonder is etymologically rooted in Old English and High German and offers the following definitions:

* a cause of astonishment or admiration

* the quality of exciting amazed admiration

and perhaps the best one:
* rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one's experience.

Big Fish. all that and more.

__________________________________

in other news. I've been so emotional over the past few days. Every minute has been all at once cerebral and spiritual - profoundly moving. perhaps - life altering

and I'm so exhuasted, making the wonders all the more overwhelming and intense.

did somebody say cheese?

2004-06-13T01:06:00.000-05:00

mmmmmmm, G&T (x 4), attempted dancing, more than 5 mins of happiness - a fleeting glimpse at what life should be like....

dare I say - - ?

zang.

Almeida to CTU. We are going in. I repeat - Mission Clean The Kitchen is a go.

2004-06-04T19:59:00.000-05:00

So....we decided it was time to clean the kitchen today.

We haven't cleaned a single thing in the kitchen since sometime in early March. All was fine until the weather started to heat up this week. A few days ago, I started to notice a few (*cough* dozen *cough*) flies. I don't own any bug spray, nor would I want to spray it on my dishes. So I squirted Dr. Bronner's Eucalyptus Soap all over everything last night and that seemed to vanquish some of them.

Tonight is the first night we would both be home. Earlier in the week when I noticed the flies, I stopped going in the kitchen and informed Dave that I wasn't touching a thing w/out him. After he got home from work, it was time to prep our mission.

1. Draw up plans for fly evacuation

2. Don a hazmat suit.

3. What? we don't own a hazmat suit? okay, make a hazmat suit out of:
A.) 2 pairs of rubber gloves
B.) a garbage bag w/ a hole cut in it
C.) a hat to keep said garbage bag on my head
D.) my safety glasses that I use at the range.

And then it was time.

The first part of our mission invovled installing a complex 2 part system to quickly and accurately remove the flies from the premises. My plan involved opening the window and screen, setting up a fan and...blowing the flies out the window. The flies that did not respond to Operation Blast Of Air would be neutralised by a lethal mist of spray cleaner.

Once we were confident Operation Blast Of Air was a reasonable success, I stepped in to launch Operation Clean The Nastiness Out Of The Sink while Dave implented Operation Scrape The Crap Off Of The Dishes.

The first phase of attacks have been completed. We loaded and started the dishwasher. Then decided to take a break and watch another episode of 24 on dvd.

Here's me in full disaster mode. Note the fan which seemed to be a success. The walky talky however, was just for effect. Click on the picture for a bigger image.

It Hit Me Today...

2004-06-04T15:15:00.000-05:00

So I haven't posted in a week - I'm sorry I neglected you, oh faithful readers. Do I have an excuse? Yes, plenty of them. For days, I've been on the phone or on the road. I hate it.

My current life is coming to a close.
The shows are wrapping up. The curtain is closing on the church. I haven't been sad. Since my attention span is itty bitty, I'm looking forward to moving on. However, my financial resources are screaming at me to begin running amuck in terror. If I don't get a new gig by the end of the month, then I just may say "screw it" and move to LA to live in the back of a VW bus and eat peanut butter sandwiches for 3 square meals a day.

But, a small glimmer of sentiment hit me hard today.
I didn't feel any remorse for the houses until I started wiping my hard drive clean. Now, in a small, small way...I will miss the arched doorways and dental moldings; the decorative porticos and eyebrow windows; the gourmet kitchen and garden tubs; the suburban split levels, and the downtown art decos. Perhaps I will miss the rare stick style and queen anne victorians most. The houses...they spoke to me. And I would tell their stories, like a psychic ghost interpreter - relaying the voice of a long dead past.

Okay - I'm not psycho. The above reflection is largely tongue in cheek! But alas, I will mourn silently for a short time.

Want to see me really sad? Wait until I sing my last mass at Saint Joe's. Not only will I miss the dear, sweet folks in the parish. My bank account will sorely miss the income!

Now, I'm trying to break back into accounting and finance. And the whole industry seems to be saying to me: "You traitor, you left us for 10 months. Why should we take you back?"

And I think to myself "What a wonderful world."

not quite artsy, not a blockbuster - just 'lost'

2004-05-30T20:41:00.000-05:00

I have plenty of important things to talk about today. But instead, I'm going to rant. I just wasted 102 minutes watching Lost In Translation. Yes, yes, I know the movie is like, 5 years old by now. I just haven't gotten around to watching it until tonight. Got it on On Demand.

I Think I'm The Only Person Who Did Not Like This Movie.
We all remember the comical trailers. We heard the hype and we watched it bring home the awards. So I was expecting a genius and funny, perhaps heartwarming movie with an albeit artistic slant from Ms. Coppola.

I should have known what I was getting into.
I remembered how much I disliked The Virgin Suicides. But, given that TVS was Ms. Coppola's first effort, I applauded her. LIT was only marginally better, and its all b/c of Bill Murray. Truthfully, I don't know why this film was nominated for so many awards, nor, how it won any. I will support my arguement here:

1. In both TVS and LIT, it seems as if too much weight is placed on the film being brilliantly shot, and not enough emphasis placed on the story. The cinematography was beautiful, but shouldn't have to carry the whole film. The editing was razor sharp. But, the direction was comparable to that of a student film. Certain parts of the film felt like it was trying to be weird, just for the sake of being weird.

1A. To go back to the editing - at times I was confused. Throughout the early part of the film especially, Charlotte is shown in near back to back shots wearing different pjs. Either the clips got all mixed up in the computer, or Coppola is trying to suggest that multiple days were passing and the only occurance of note was Charlotte changing her clothes, Or Charlotte really did enjoy changing her tops several times a day.

2. "Trying" is the defining word of this movie. It tries to be mysterious and shy and coy. But the action is painfully slow and the characters aren't developed enough to make the story intriguing.

3. Not only are the characters not given a chance to develop, in some cases the performance feels completely wrong. Charlotte for example is a Yale grad who has been married for 2 years, and is accused of being "snotty" and "mean" by her husband. I believe that the character was meant to be very complex - part vamp, part "lost" child with a bit of cynicism. She is portrayed by Scarlett Johansson who at 19 does the job of playing the innocent, and Could play up the sultry factor, but doesn't quite make it. Also, the performance does not support Charlotte being a Yale grad that studied Psychology. She spends more time giggling and looking partially glazed over. The conflict between her studies and her life only barely peeks through. Furthermore, she never seems to make any profund observations or statements that one would expect from a Philosophy major. Nor snide remarks that would qualify her snob title.

4. Overall, I think the other younger characters where erroneously cast. To me, the actors look like they would have been better off in American Pie Part 4. Too young and not believable as up and coming high profilers.

5. Bill Murray makes the movie, and could have made it better if he did more 'Bill Murray'. Occasionally, he was his witty, endearing and funny self, interspersed with expertly played indifference. But there was so much more room for him.

6. I read that the script was very sparse and the film was largly improvised.
Really?!? I couldn't tell...

7. This film wins the top prize in the "Worst Foleyed" and "Worst ADR" categories. My goodness. even on a small tv screen there is SO MUCH that doesn't line up. I can't imagine how hideous it looked on the large screen. Two specific places of horror are in the arcade when a kid is playing a video game by drumming..the ratio of sticks to "pow" is pathetic. And, when Bob and Charlotte are lying on his bed talking, the room tone suddenly disappears, and of course the dialogue doesn't match up.

8. Can we say "Anti-Climactic?" A 5th grader could have guessed the plot twists, if you could call them that. As for the 'big climax' - we are thrown a couple of weak-ass curve balls that sort of miss the catcher and instead haphazardly bounce out of bounds. At the one shining moment where we could have seen the brilliant manifestation of this transcendental nether-love, we get the hug. But for the kiss - the camera is awkwardly tight on, and off to the back/side of Bob's ear/cheek. Did Coppola not want us to see the kiss? If so, there would have been better angles with a more demure perspective. But she knew the kiss is what we wanted, so it seems that her answer was to compromise.

9. Oooh but what did Bob whisper in Charlotte's ear?? The lingering question could have produced an answer as earth shattering as "Rosebud" or Larua Palmer's admission that her father killed her. But no, the whisper is inaudible and the closed captionining confirms that fact. Admittedly, we WANT to know what Bob is saying. I've suggested to Dave the we extract the audio and attempt to isolate the dialogue by filtering out the background noises. But Dave doesn't think it will work. A quick internet search produces guesses from other viewers...

But in my opinion...I think Bill Murray improvised, and the crew lost the production audio. So he made something up for the ADR track. OR, perhaps in his improvisation he never said anything at all. And in either case - Coppola thought to herself "Hey! This can be kind of cool, and Weird...I like it!"

This is why I spend $3.95 for On Demand instead of $10 at the movie theater.

Do you have a movie that you'd like to see me tear to shreds? Post a comment or send me an email.

My New Addiction: Dipping Body Parts In Hot Wax

2004-05-28T00:39:00.000-05:00

SPOILER MATERIAL: If you are a greasy sleezeball looking for a scandalous glimpse of something kinky - Immediately hit the 'back' button on your AOL window and go turn on Cinemax After Dark.

Yes folks, I'm talking about wax. Paraffin wax, and it's my new obsession.

We all love to be pampered now and then. I've personally never set foot into a spa. My budget just doesn't permit. Now, I bet you're saying to yourself, "My gosh, all of the beauty, and it's all natural?!" No, not exactly 'natural.' Just, not performed on me professionally.

I've learned how to give myself home facials and how to properly exfoliate. I shape my own eyebrows, whiten my own teeth. Up until recently, I cut my own hair. The one service I do wish I could receive from a professional is regular massages. But I've never had a problem being able to talk my friends into helping me out. (By the way, any takers?)

And although I have received pro manicures and pedicures, for the most part, I perform the tasks myself. One reason is that I get funny looks when I tell them the nails on my right hand need to be long and I need no nails on my left hand.

Bring In The Wax
I'm absolutely obsessive about my hands. I wear gloves religiously, even well into the summer if its cool. And I'm always slathering on pure shea butter. Nevertheless, they get beat up, cut up, banged up and worn out from the keyboards, but more so from the guitars.

My mother acquired this nifty device called a Paraffin Wax Bath She loved it, but decided she needed the space for her ever-spawning Mickey Mouse collectibles, and passed it on to me.

The device is a plastic tub. You place a brick of wax in it, plug it in, and Voila! You have a re-invented Medieval Torture Bath.

Now, the problem here is that I don't like hot things.
I don't like hot weather. I don't like hot temperature foods. And I don't particularly enjoy dunking fragile body into a 120f vat of foaming jacuzzi water. I can't explain it precisely, it's def one of my mental quirks. If I am to dig into a steaming bowl of soup for example (well, first of all, I let it cool to "just above harboring bacteria" temperature)I imagine it scalding my esophageal tract, disintergrating the gentle vili and burning away my intestinal tissue like a nuclear mushroom cloud over the New Mexico Desert. okay, not so much....

But the lure of smoother, silkier, more lustrious hands made me persevere

As my mother instructed - you dunk your hand, let the extra wax drip off and harden and itty bit, then repeat a few more times before bagging up your hand like a piece of leftover turkey.

I look at the vat of wax, which has taken on a clear ocean blue hue. Ah, the ocean, calm and serene. It looks so beautiful and oddly hypnotic. Surely, the water is safe! I gingerly and tentatively approach the innocent looking liquid....and YEHAW IT's HOT! Hot as if I plunged my hand into a boiling pot of spaghetti! BUT WAIT, it's really not THAT bad, I'm just being a baby. On subsequent dunks, it feels less terrorsome due to the thickening layers of wax.

By the time my hand had enough layers to look like it could illuminate a small room, I followed the instructions to place it in a plastic baggy thing (all of this came with the kit) and then in an insulated mitten that I think they stole from a Pluto costume at Disney World.

And Then Euphoria!
After repeating the procedure w/ the other hand, and help from Dave, I began to relax and enjoy the sensuous warmth. It was so therapeutic! I was in heaven!

When the wax had cooled and hardened, it was time to awake my hands from their blissful sleeping bags. I imagined that I would need a chisel to break apart the hardened wax, but my hands slipped right out - leaving a really neat complete cast of my hand in its entirety, nails and skin impressions and all. For a moment, I thought 'Hey, I could go work for Industrial Light and Magic' Then I remembered that I was neither intelligent, nor creative enough.

Back to my hands = they feel luxuriously sensuous! So soft and smooth. Little cracks seemed to have been erased. Cuticle revitalised. Nails shiny. And my callouses may actually need to be reformed so I don't bleed on the guitar strings. Overall, the results from just one use totally exceeded my expectations. And, the soothing, warming feeling is so relaxing too.

Now I'm a paraffin wax junky.
My habit is steadily increasing and soon I will need to buy more wax. Then I got the idea to do some research. On the web, I found sources that claim people use wax dipping as a form of physical therapy - to treat muscle and joint pain. We all know that everything on the internet is true... but I could see how regular dips *could* offer at least a little temporary comfort. And apparently, people dip everything - feet, elbows, (obvious choices) and even facials and whole body treatments. How do they dip a whole body? I think that may get a little uncomfortable.

Like A Human Fondue
As we speak, I have my feet nestled snuggly in the oven roaster bags. The sumptuous wax working over tired joints and doing, er, whatever it does to make the dry skin soft and smooth. I can't wait to reveal my new softer tootsies.

And I've come to this conclusion:

Heaven must be regular full body dips in paraffin wax

Moving on.

2004-05-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

The dust has settled and now it's on to another day. The old familiar routines remind me that time, and life hurries on.

My deadline is swiftly approaching.
It's raining.
The rabbit is chewing on the Auralex in the studio.
The house is still a rancid mess.

Ah, the cold comfort of normalcy.

For those who wisely refrained from speaking to me yesterday - I will summarise the day's Good, Sucky and Obnoxious events:

1. Losing a very lucrative gig: How-Am-I-Going-To-Pay-The-Rent Sucky.

2. Taking the extra time to give myself a home spa experience: Relaxingly Good.

3. Venti Starbucks Dark Roast: Bouncing Off The Ceiling Good.

4. Simon in his penultimate Idol appearence of the season: TIE = Obnoxiously Sexy Good and Tuesdays-In-The-Off-Season-Are-Going-To-Be-Boring Sucky.

5. Learning that 'Tony Almeida' Carlos Bernado's contract has not been renewed for the next season of 24 and obviously, 'Stephen Saunders' Paul Blackthorn is out too: Who Will Provide Next Season's Eye Candy Obnoxious.

somewhere between sickness and sadness.

2004-05-25T18:42:00.000-05:00

there are just 2 redeeming factors that are saving me from personal annihilation tonight.

1. Simon
2. Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies.

That is all. I will return to my ditch now.

I got nothing

2004-05-23T20:47:00.000-05:00

I don't have any useful opinions or comments to make tonight. So I'll just complain.

After I begrudgingly got in bed last night, I couldn't fall asleep. So at 3:30a I got up and wasted time on the internet until 5a when I had to start getting ready. Tried to nap this afternoon - "ooh no you don't," said the lawnmower. So I've been up for about 36 hours so far. I managed to smile through singing two masses this morning, existing on water, a baggy of carrots and the last drops of andrenaline left in my body.

Since I've been so overtired, I've experienced some strange goings-on. Delusions, hallucinations, anxiety, wicked slow reaction times. And I quite literally feel "wiped-out."

The scary thing is that I don't feel ready for sleep yet. great. I suspect that I will begin to feel incredibly sleepy right around 6:30a when I should start getting ready for my 9:00a meeting.

Mission Accomplished.

2004-05-22T23:58:00.000-05:00

Today I could have been at the Kiss 108 concert, and tonight I could have been tearing it up at the VIP afterparty. But due to prior engagements, my day went something like this:

Wake-up, drive, sing, drive, curl hair, paste on false eyelashes, drive, sing, drive, straighten hair, re-glue eyelashes, drive, sing, drive. aw crap I forgot to eat. make quick food, chug martini.

Now I can get 4 hours of sleep before: wake-up, drive, sing (sight reading ack!) drive, you get the picture.

But, besides all the running around - my whole day / evening was incredible! There are few greater thrills than seeing a crowd of happy people. Sometimes singing along to the lyrics they'll never forget. Sometimes w/ the glimmer of a tear in the eye b/c the song brought back a distant memory. Always smiling.

It makes my existense worthwhile.

Shopper's High

2004-05-21T18:32:00.000-05:00

sigh...my world is suddenly a happier place.

at least for the time being, anyway.

Ladies and gentleman...

2004-05-21T14:47:00.000-05:00

Congrats to Stoney Catcherye for proving himself worthy by answering the Questions 3 on my FAQ from earlier this week. I'm pretty sure he looked up the answers to #3 on the internet, but he did the legwork, so it counts. Details of our date are still TBD but so far the only detail that has been confirmed is a bathub full of Strawberry Daquaries.

Now For Some Bad News.
Yesterday, one of the tv shows that I write for was canceled. This is not good for me. But its even worse for the other team members that had to be laid off. It was also my favourite of the shows. How do I deal w/ the stress and sadness and feelings of panic??

I go shopping of course!

Something about shopping is sickeningly therapeutic. It's the physical filling of a figuritve, physical or otherwise perceived void. Beyond the act of acquiring something new - shopping also serves to give the hungry customer a little pat on the back, a mini-ego stroke. "You're good enough to deserve these nice new things!"

Sadly, tonight's procursion excursion is not going to be all fun and games. For one thing, it's a Friday night and the last place that I usually want to be on a Friday night is in a mall. And secondly, I HAVE to buy a warm weather suit, perferably in a pretty easy-wearing pastel hue. As we've established, shopping for the sake of shopping is fun. But shopping w/ a purpose can be downright horrific.

Nonetheless,I'm looking forward to coming home w/ lots of pretty packages and feeling that familiar pat-on-the-back satisfaction.

sick? yes I know, just a little.

you're kidding right?

2004-05-19T06:08:00.000-05:00

Okay this is obnoxiuos. How many times did I get that stupid FWD about not buying gas today.

People, honestly - not buying gas for one day is not going to make the least bit of an impact! If you don't buy it today, you'll buy it tomorrow. The gas stations don't care. They'll sell their "stockpile" to you tomorrow.

Here's an analogy. My dept runs daily TPS reports that are distributed to all employees and need to be reviewed on a daily basis. Today, we have the day off, nobody is using paper to print out reports. But tomorrow, when everybody comes back we will need paper to print the reports from both the previous day and the current day. Day off did not affect the paper supply.

If you want to make a difference, our society has to lower our overall consumption of gas. That means car pooling or taking public transportation. or biking. or telecommuting(like moi.) even on a semi-regular basis, it will make a significant difference.

So, we can conclude that if my dept decided to distribute one copy of a TPS report to 5 employees and make them share it = we would use less paper. Or, if we combined all of the daily numbers into one weekly TPS total = we would use less paper. Or, if TPS reports were circulated electronically = we would use no paper! OR, if we trashed the whole TPS reporting system, quit our jobs and moved to an island - the only paper we would use would be to wipe our bums.

As an additional aside:
I would personally not take any advice from the same medium that tries to sell ME viagra and assures me that Bill Gates wants to give me a free vacation to Disney World and if I don't forward a cutesy obnoxious love poem to everybody I know - I will be cursed with bad luck for 11 years, turn into a dog and have snake eggs hatch in my gums.

Sign-off

2004-05-18T06:56:00.000-05:00

VO: "This concludes my regular broadcasting schedule. Thank you for tuning in and have a pleasant day."

cue the National Anthem.

colour bars.

fade to black.

***

Wake me up when it's time for American Idol.

FAQ this.

2004-05-18T02:20:00.000-05:00

Well we’re off to a jolly rolicking start. It’s nice to see that my friends share my passion for overly trite and useless blather.

The rest of you may have some burning questions in your eager little minds. And so, I have created a brief...

FAQ

You already have a webpage. Why do I need to remember another url for you?

I would like my webpage to be used for only professional purposes. Yes, I know there is nothing there right now. Why should I use up all of that valuable space anyway? Perhaps someday I will link the two.

What is ‘Paphia?’

Back when we were one of the first AOL subscribers and thumbing our noses at the Prodigy folks, I wanted to pick a really unique screen name. Not a bunch of numbers or other prattle. At the time, I was going through a “exploring history’s religions” phase and whipped out my Robert Grave’s mythology books.

‘Paphia’ is the name of a complex goddess worshipped by the people of Paphos, Cyprus during ancient times. In other areas of the Greek world, she was known by dozens of names, including the most well known – Aphrodite. According to ancient references, her dominion covers sexuality and sensual pleasure, as well as fertility and ferocity. Incidentally, if you know me, this association is quite ironic indeed.

But the name sounded pretty and obscure. I like it.

Where do you work? What are some of your hobbies? What kind of music do you like? Do you have siblings?

If you don’t know – I’m not telling you. But you can probably figure out some more in-depth info via future postings.

You’re hot. Will you go out with me?

Most likely not. But I may consider it if you answer these questions three:

A. In your opinion, what are the five most influential recording artists or songwriters in the history of music?

B. How would you rank the following issues in order of importance? animal rights, civil rights, global commerce, historical preservation, personal financial gain, technological advancement.

C. What are the three main types of subatomic particles? And what is the mass and electrical charge of each?

Got a question? Post a comment. Or send me an email. I may respond.

the (un)usual?

2004-05-17T13:37:00.000-05:00

2:00p est. Good morning. Coffe. Parsley and kale for Squeek. A can of ground up meat by-products for Scuba Steve. This stuff is absolutely vile. emails. voicemails. snail mails. Eh - I'll get around to returning messages eventually.

DESTINATION 'CYBERSPACE'
Since I'm always so on top of the latest technology, today I thought "Hey what about those new fangled web logging programs?" I think alot. I sometimes have opinions. But I need room in my head to store architectural definitions. Precious brain cells are necessary for coming up w/ colourful but meaningless ways to describe houses.

What should I do w/ all of my random ramblings? Enter blogspot.com Yes! The skies open up and the choirs in my head strike up a jubilant refrain. Cosmic bodies slowly move into alignment. Peace in all of its forms is...okay, okay so its not that monumental of an event.

But perhaps, this trendy little innovation will allow me to stay closer to those that care. Afterall, I share very few waking hours with the majority of the working world. They can log on - read about my boring day, or my obnoxiuos musings and feel good for not wasting their time on calling me.

"it's like I'm talking to someone - but I don't have to listen to them talk back"

If only I could turn my blog into a kewl accessory. like if I could carry it around in a blog-holder-belt-clip.

TODAY'S PREDICTION
Dave will want to create a blog.